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The Wedding Affair Perfect Planning Guide… What To Do After The Wedding – Beating The Post Wedding Blues
For some individuals, all of the stress, happiness and build up to the wedding suddenly get’s replaced with an unexpectedly sad, or even lonely feeling once the special day has been and gone. This could stem from any number of things, and feelings – perhaps relief that all of the planning, photographs and parental problems is through, missing having your nearest and dearest around sippin’ on bubbly, visiting wedding fairs or celebrating (continuously) – or even just a more abstract feeling of “What Now?”
Remember, you have just gone through one of the most important milestones, completed the unthinkable and have been planning what was possibly a huge event; whilst managing a social life, working full-time and remembering to eat, sleep and everything else in between – you’re bound to feel a little anxious about the change in your life. Don’t worry, it’s normal and your certainly not alone (and your certainly not going crazy!).
In fact, give yourself a pat on the back and be proud of what you have achieved! And, guess what? Before long, you’ll be back on track and excited about what your wedding really represents—the start of your new beautiful life together.
Why do brides, grooms and even your parents experience it?
There are so many different reasons someone might go through a post-wedding low. Maybe they loved the constant buzz that being engaged and planning a wedding brings, or they’d been setting aside some important life decisions (like getting a new job, buying a new home or even starting a family) until after the wedding. Once everything’s all is over, they have to face these big, stressful things head-on, without the whole whirlwind of a wedding to plan.
I never thought I would say this, but to some extent planning a wedding put’s you in a fantasy mode and makes it incredibly easy to loose sight of what the actual day and ceremony represents.
So, How can you deal with these feelings?
First, understand that this is a totally normal and understandable process that many people go through. Then, as a preventative measure, learn to shift your focus from just the wedding to your marriage as a whole. Your life, love for each other, friends, family and all those important special milestones that are to come. Let’s face it, there’s plenty of them.
It’s not necessarily about preventing these feelings so much, it is about mitigating their effects. Focusing on what happens after the wedding and getting excited about your next steps will help significantly diminish any unwanted emotions.
Tips for Dealing With Postwedding Sadness:
Recognise that your wedding isn’t the same as your marriage.
If you know yourself well enough to realise you’re too focused on the wedding and not focused enough on your precious relationship and next steps as a duo, take a moment to shift your perspective. Start talking about what’s going to happen the next day after the wedding, life beyond and future plans. Of course, It’s amazing to celebrate a wedding, to make it wonderful, gorgeous and an event that everyone will love. But do have a think about what married life will mean.
Hopefully you have a honeymoon planned or another personal fun trip on the horizon, even if it’s just a stay-cation for a couple of days. Not only will this get you excited for what’s to come, but it will give you a much deserved rest and escape for a short while.
Plus, planning your honeymoon at the same time as your wedding may just be all you need to set your head straight – it’s forcing you to think past the wedding. Of course, don’t wish your wedding away, just look at the bigger, beautiful picture.
Make everyday events exciting and important.
Adding fun and joy into everyday life sets the scene for staying connected, happy and content throughout your marriage. Make dinner at home more special with a few candles, or take a day trip somewhere close, but new. Focus on the small things that bring you security, comfort, warmth and make you feel loved on a daily basis—that’s what marriage is all about, after all!
It’s by no mean’s an easy ride, but it’s one that you’re both committed to.
Redefine your relationship with your family.
Try not to focus on the fact that you’re leaving your family and instead think about the one you’re just beginning. Your family is still a huge part of your life, but you just have to reinvent your relationship with them. If you’re moving out, then make time for them but don’t ever feel like that they’re now not your family, because they are.
If you’re worried about changing your name, or don’t particularly want to just because of “tradition” – then don’t. You could make a double barrelled surname, or even have talks with your partner about them changing their surname (if they’re comfortable with that, of course!)
Look to your new spouse.
You may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable sharing your sadness with your love — you may not want to worry them or offend them. But take comfort in your other half. If anyone understands these feelings (or your needs in general), it’ll be them. Who know’s they could even be feeling the same, and that conversation will be a blessing to them as well.
Have you, or are you suffering with the post-wedding blues? Do you have any advice that you feel could help others? I’d love to know. Email [email protected], or leave a comment below with your little pieces of advice.
Ooh, and we’ll be talking about this in #weddinghour this evening, if you’d like to join in then you can do so from 9-10pm over on Twitter.
Have a lovely day and I’ll catch up with you all later! X
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