Top Tips Tuesday: Things to Consider When Writing Your Own Wedding Vows…
Writing your own wedding vows is something that people either love or hate the thought of, and for couples like me who hate public speaking, can be a very, very daunting thought. Don’t get me wrong I do adore it whenever I hear of Bride’s and Groom’s writing their own wedding vows. It gives so much personality to a wedding service and I can honestly say it really is a beautiful thing.
I recon it is something every couple would love to do, but it does takes guts, and where on earth do you actually start?! Here at The Wedding Affair we have come up with a quick guide to help both Bride’s and Groom’s alike when it comes to writing those all important wedding vows. Whether you do, or don’t choose to write your own, that is a personal opinion that should be made between the two of you. Either way I bet your ceremony will be just as special and beautiful…
The Starting Point…
One way to start is by gaining inspiration from others. Read vows that are traditional by-the-book from your own religion (if you practice a certain faith), and plenty of others as well, do this to see what lights a spark. Experiment with incorporating these samples into the original words you write or simply use them as a starting point. Once you’ve found a few you love, consider what it is about the style that draws you to those vows in particular.
Decide how you want your vows to come across. Do you envision them as humorous, or possibly Poetic and romantic? Use your personalities, after all you know each other the best! Do you want to make traditional promises, or opt for something a little more contemporary, or both? It’s completely up to you!
Next agree on whether you will write them separately or together. Also, will you share them with each other or keep them a secret until the wedding day? Some people may see the fact its a surprise as fun and adds to the romance, however others may see it as just an extra stress, and find it even more daunting. If you feel like this, then is keeping it a surprise really worth it?
I have to say I love the idea of keeping them secret till the wedding day, I think this will make them so, so special. (P.S Ask your ring bearer to bring spare tissues!).
Take some time to reflect on your fiancé. Think about how you felt when you first met, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Write it all out to get your creative gears turning, if your like us and love mind maps, then this is the perfect excuse! Here’s a little handy list of questions to help get you started…
- What have you supported each other through?
- What do you want to accomplish together?
- What makes your relationship personal?
- What did you think when you first saw your fiancé?
- When did you realize you were in love?
- What about them inspires you?
- What qualities do you most admire in one another?
Decide on a word-count maximum
It’s nice to have a constraint sometimes, especially if your partner is threatening to use their terrible jokes (possibly funny to her/him!) in a love metaphor themed rap. It may just give you that peace of mind that your aren’t going to make your guests to sit through thirty minutes of vowing. Short and sweet as people say, its not about the quantity but quality…
They’re called vows for a reason, so the promises are the most important part. A tip from us is… Include promises that are broad in scope, such as ‘I promise to always support you,’ as well as very specific to the two of you, like ‘I promise to say “I love you” every night before bed.’ Or, “I promise to roll my eyes with you and not at you” It’s the little things that can make all the difference!
Remember that the vows are ultimately just for you and your partner
If you are a silly person, We’re here to tell you that it is okay if your vows are a little silly, or funny. Alternatively, if you’d rather just write one simple line: Do it! If you want to rap them in a love metaphor? Go ahead— if your partner doesn’t mind (Of course!). Your vows don’t even have to sound like vows; you could write an essay, a sonnet, or anything really. Vows should sound like you, especially when you’re making promises to your partner. Out of all days, you wouldn’t want them to sound like someone else.
Make a Clean Copy…
The paper you read from should be readable, and of course look super pretty. So even if you’re working on it right up until a few moments before your ceremony, use a fresh piece of paper free of cross-outs, arrows and notes. Make some thought to the presentation too because they may end up in the photo’s. Even ask your stationer to create a card, or note pad for you that fits into the theme of the wedding. Were thinking everything from your colour scheme to the fonts that you are using across your wedding day. What a fabulous keepsake too! Do take a look at our Preferred Suppliers for some utterly gorgeous stationery!
Have a lovely day and enjoy writing them wedding vows! x